I may not be an expert….but..

I may not be an expert..but… I do know what I like. I know what works for me.. I know what I have seen, heard, learned, and read.. While I may not be the type of expert you want…I am the expert of me..

I always wanted to be a Doctor since I was in Kindergarten, my teacher told me when I mentioned that I wanted to be a doctor that little black girls could only become nurses…At the time I was so young there was no way that I could have argued that she was wrong.. I simply did not know enough of the world at 5 years old to dispute her, but I did know enough about myself to know that she was wrong..she would not limit me or my future..

I did attend college with the intent to go to medical school, I gave it my best shot…I simply was not ready to be that responsible at 18 years old. So I did what I knew and came home and got a job. I worked for a few years until I decided that I would go back to school to get an Associates in Occupational Therapy Assistant. Which I did…graduated in 1999…10 years after high school graduation.

I love practicing Occupational Therapy and feel like I was born to it like my Mother was. I also know that I have a calling to work with children. You can call me the baby whisperer if you like…lol I enjoy being a OT assistant and still practice to this day. But, one day I felt like I needed to be more…

I felt like I was not enough…and I was brainwashed to think that about myself for some time…so I went back to college…to be more… I will say that when you try to play God in your life, he will allow you to move, but unless you move in his will things will not come to pass. I know that now..took some grown woman stuff to figure that out..

I got my Bachelors of Health & Wellness in 2013 and still I felt like I needed to be more because when I applied for positions I was either to qualified or not qualified enough…sigh…so..yet again I went back to college to get a Master’s Degree (2015). This time I studied Public Health..very interesting subject and another passion of mine…however after graduation yet again all positions that I applied for I was either over qualified or not qualified enough…are you kidding me…really?

Sigh, I looked into moving to a big city to work in Public Health and uprooting my little family and leaving my extended family behind..brainwashed I tell you..

Still feeling like I was not good enough and that I needed to be more..I prayed one more time for God to please reveal what my purpose in this life was..I just was not getting it..at all..I was at a loss…until…

A coworker asked me how I understood the pediatric patients that we work with that have varying illness and conditions…most of whom are not verbal..I had to really think about that..I don’t know was my response…but that night when I laid down to sleep…it came to me..You have a gift of listening to people in a way that through other means than verbal communication, for instance body language, utterances, moans, posture, just to name a few..Hey…I do that..

This small thing (to me) was the turning point in me understanding that I have another gift and that is working with children and those with child like minds…this is a real thing..I actually had to take a look at my work methods and see what I was doing that was so different from what others were doing..to my amazement..others saw me as a role model, and I had earned their respect through my work ethic and education..I did not know..Thanks Guys..

All that time I was being my best self and because of the brainwashing pressure of society (I can blame them) I did not feel good about myself. I am not ashamed to admit that I felt like that and am so very glad that I don’t give that subject merit. I am who I am, and I may not be an expert…But I am the expert of me..

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