I say that to myself almost every day…yet I wonder…do I really have it?

Have what you may ask..? LOL…a clue mostly..

I sit down and really get into my feeling and wonder if I know what is really going on or am I simply moving through time like everyone else, just trying to make it to a new day…

We do not get many second chances to get things right..I mean others do not afford us that opportunity….do they?…do we?  Do we give to others what we expect from them?

I can admit that this has not been a good week for me..I have been angry, upset, about to snap, and any other word you want to add here that means I was out of order..I admit it…I had to call on my support system (Mom and twin) to pray for me..and I had to apologize to God because I was not praying in a reverent voice…I was yelling..actually yelling while talking to God…wow..

I have had these types of moments before in my life and at the time I just endured them, and tried to re-direct my actions and emotions to something positive…I was not mature enough at the time to understand that sometimes you have to ride those situations and emotions out to truly feel better and get a grip.  I don’t think that some people really understand how great it is that I grew up and do not have a short temper…it takes a lot to set me off, but when I am set off….run..

Honest advice…run.. I probably will not remember what I said or did…I black out and it usually ends in my speaking my mind in someones face with my fists balled up and my big brother carrying me away so that I can calm down. I am a grown woman, and I expect others to treat me that way. I am not a bully. I do not like bullies. I like people who are real with me, tell me if I am wrong. I am grown and mature enough to act accordingly.  However I can go there with you if you push me…

I do have a question…why do people view Christians as weak?  Jesus was not weak…have you ever turned the other cheek? That is one of the hardest things to do..especially when you have to keep your emotions, rage, retaliation, and salvation in check.  In my human body, I would rather smack the shit out of someone than to let them be in my face let alone actually hit me….bless…

There I feel better to get that out…

Have a blessed Saturday..