Sometimes you just have to say no…

It took me a long time to understand that I could tell others “NO.” I am always willing to go out of my way to help others even if they never offer to help me. I am fine with that and have been a caregiver for over 30 years.

The hardest thing that I ever had to learn was telling myself “NO.” It took me a long time to get the hang of telling myself that I could not have something or do something. No Dina you cannot have another cookie, No Dina you have to get up and go to work, No Dina you may not run that person off the road…you know things like that…

I am grateful that I tell myself no on a regular basis, it surely keeps me out of trouble. I need help sometimes to censor myself, and to keep myself together so that I can be a functional member of society. I mean if that is something you want to do…at least try…

Parents….you to can teach your children to tell themselves no, there is no harm in learning self restraint. So many people have impulsive behaviors that can make them obnoxious to others. Many people do not care about that but as that child grows old, who will accept them when they have no self restraint? You will not live forever and that grown child will think it is okay to act that way….just saying. I have many years of behavioral modification experience and I talk to families all the time about guiding children in the appropriate direction because the world will not handle them with silk gloves..that is just reality…

It is okay to tell your child no…should they really have everything they want? Act any way they want? Should they? Should you?

Question? Why would you want others to be around you if you cannot stand to be with yourself? I often wonder how others will answer this question..

I am glad that I learned to handle the word no fairly early in my life and I am eternally grateful that my Mother taught my brothers and me how to accept consequences for our actions. Do people still do that? Teach their children that concept? Believe in consequences..

I see so many people rewarding bad behaviors and setting their children up to fail. I do ask, if the child is the breadwinner of the family because he or she controls bedtime, clothing choices, what is eaten or purchased, and what activities will take place….take some time and think about that one…I can wait……..

It does happen..and I have seen that children bore their way into adult conversations and end up having more veto power in that conversation than an adult….why? Children seek structure and consistency…how can we provide these necessary things for them if we cannot tell ourselves that NO, we do not need another piece of technology to keep us occupied…instead of spending time with our families and loved ones…..again…think about that….I can wait….

I admit I have been guilty of playing a game on my phone while in the room with my Husband and not hearing something he said because I wanted the fake feeling of winning and being self important because I could advance another level….lol..yes we all do that..That’s a control thing…a topic for another time…

Learn to say no when it is necessary for self preservation, but not when someone actually needs your help…there is a difference..

Peace..
Dina…