As I was driving to work this morning I had a “light bulb” moment… Why don’t we hear what someone says the first time? Have you ever had to ask someone to repeat their words over and over again before you grasp the meaning?
I admit it…I have…many times…and I probably will again..
It is not that anything is wrong with my hearing..not at all..its just that…well I blocked you out..did not talk about what I wanted to hear…or you were just on my nerves..
NOOO..what it really is….wait for it…..if there is no drama with the message we are most likely to ignore it. I did not hear you the first time because I did not sense from you that it was controversial, or dramatic or of benefit for me..simple as that..
In this social climate..things that do not pertain to us personally often get overlooked and passed over..I admit if I am not feeling something or someone I move on. Not harsh…just real. I love to watch movies, but if it takes a story line that I do not like, or is too difficult to follow…i’m out…checked out I mean…on to the next thing. Some would call that impulsive and or a lack of focus, but we as humans set up a safe place for us to fall. A safe emotional place, a safe landing place, as safe haven where no one can hurt us…even inside ourselves.
While I do not believe in fairy tales and legends, there is a certain level of comfort from having a happy ending. Most of those stories grab our attention because the good guy always wins and the damsel always gets her prince charming…is that realistic in 2018? I don’t think so..at this point as people we settle for being with someone who is kind to us and may not be prince charming to others but they are to us..lol..squirrel…I’m back.
The dialogue we share with ourselves and others are often up-building for self and rarely up-building for others. Why is that…no one pays attention to you blowing your own horn, or someone else, but are all on the bandwagon if we are down talking someone else.That added drama, or intent is what draws us in, every time.
There is hope..you too can stop this vicious cycle of non listening behavior…but, you have to want too. I am a good listener, I hear what is being said, I reply in a timely manner, and I am changed by the conversation. I am..I do..I want people to understand that I am by no means perfect, never said I was..I do however try daily to keep myself in check. I am an adult most days, but I admit that some people take me there and make me be…or act outside of myself…I certainly am not adding drama to this blog so that you will read it..or maybe I did..