It is strange to me that people still respond to others based on the way they dress.
I have laughed so many times when I stop at the grocery store after work and people part like the Red Sea. Then, on days when I am dressed more casually, I sometimes cannot get people to move two inches so I can get by.
Of course, I overthink it. I find myself wondering, I am the same person every day. Why do people move out of my way when I look “official,” but seem perfectly comfortable blocking the aisle when I look relaxed?
My husband says it is my face. Ha!
I think that is especially funny because I am probably much less fierce when I am dressed for work. That is when I am in professor, teacher, caregiver mode. I am focused on helping, teaching, problem-solving, and making sure everyone around me is okay.
When I am dressed comfortably? That may actually be when I am more on guard.
So perhaps people have it backward. Just saying.
Still, it makes me chuckle—and sometimes makes me think—about how quickly we judge and stereotype one another based on appearance.
I have insecurities just like everyone else. But after spending so much of my life caring for other people, my natural reaction is usually simple: Are you okay? Do you need something? Can I help?
I genuinely do not care who you are, what you look like, where you come from, or whether you are green. If you need help and I can provide it, you have it.
I know everyone does not operate that way. That is their choice. But sometimes I think life would be a little easier if more people simply learned to chill.
So, back to what I wear.
On busy workdays, scrubs are my go-to. They are practical for labs, teaching, and whatever else the day decides to throw at me. Someone seeing me in scrubs might assume I am some type of healthcare professional or caregiver, although my clothes certainly do not tell them exactly who I am or what I do.
But should that nondescript wardrobe cause someone to treat me differently?
And when I am wearing a T-shirt, sweats, and sneakers, does that suddenly make me less deserving of basic courtesy?
There have been times when people have stood directly in the aisle and seemed almost determined not to move or even shift enough for me to pass.
And I think, Really?
Is it because of what I am wearing?
Then let me put on dress pants, a nice blouse, and my grown-woman shoes. Suddenly, the experience can be completely different.
What changed?
Not me.
When I wake up in the morning, I am not planning some elaborate social experiment. I am not trying to fool anyone with my clothes. I am simply dressing for whatever the day requires.
Underneath all of it—the scrubs, the sneakers, the blouse, the sweats, and the grown-woman shoes—I am still the same person.
That is the part I keep coming back to.
We spend so much time talking about growth, awareness, acceptance, emotional intelligence, and becoming better human beings. Yet appearances still carry an incredible amount of power. Clothing can signal authority, professionalism, wealth, status, comfort, age, occupation, or social belonging—even when none of those assumptions are actually correct.
And maybe that is what bothers me most.
We often think we are responding to a person when we are really responding to the story we have created about that person.
As MC Lyte said, “I cram to understand!”
Because I really do.
As supposedly civilized and evolving human beings, why are some of us constantly learning to see beyond appearances while others seem determined to remain exactly where they are?
Maybe the better question is not, Why do people treat me differently depending on what I wear?
Maybe it is this:
How differently would we treat one another if we stopped reacting to what we thought we saw and actually took the time to see the person?
Help me understand.
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