The white house with black shutters…

She lives in the white house down the street. The one with the black shutters..

She stands in the kitchen window watching the traffic drive up and down the street, often wondering where these people are going.  Wondering what is on their minds as they drive by, do they see her in the window. Do they know she exists?  She wonders…

Very often when she is there it involves catching up on past projects, starting new projects and playing catch up with her sleep.  Where is the fun in a life like this…there is none.  She gives herself freely, with little return.

Sunshine makes her smile, and blue skies make her giggle. It is really the simple things in life that make you the most grateful. She tries to wake in a bright spirit but that is a rarity these days.  How life can throw a wrench in the best laid plan.

When it snows she is happy and full of peace as the fluffy white piles fall from the sky, she can hear the silence, like a blanket on the world, swallow up the noise and calm things down. Have you ever listened to the world when it is snowing? Very dense silence..

The words that describe how she feels fail to come to pass and again they are glazed over with the repetitive words she feeds herself on a daily basis.  Work. Eat. Pray. Care. Heal.  True words to live by, what are your words?  She wants some new words like fun, laugh, rest, peace, fulfillment. She craves those things. Then comes the question….when..?

She loves her space in the place but does not love the space inside her. It used to be so bright and shining that the world could see it before she hit them with a brilliant smile. Those days are long gone and have been replaced with self service to others, anyone else but her.

She often wonders when someone will want to take care of her. It is unlikely that a time like that will come, but she still dreams of being cared for. How could have so much time passed and none of those needs have been met? Does time really move that fast or is she asleep?

She lives in a white house with black shutters.  When the door closes her life is not what it seems. To think that she has a dream life is a misspoken sentiment for another woman. Not this woman, she works harder and longer than anyone to get minimal approval or support. Most likely will continue to repeat the same situation over and over again just to feel relevant. Happiness should come easy…should..

stay tuned for the next episode…..

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