This word has been running through my mind for the last few days, so I really took the time to think about what perfection means to me.
There are so many directions that I could go to discuss perfection, and many of them lead to people feeling bad about themselves about NOT being “PERFECT!”
This idea hit me last week when I was shopping in a large box store and came across some new dolls on the markets for our little girls. They were classified as “curvy, tall and petite,” and while they were all still pleasant looking dolls in the face, they carried body attributes of normal people. The other dolls surrounding where still an unrealistic body shape and size but at least there were options for parents who want to purchase “normal” looking dolls for their little girls.
Thinking back to dolls I played with when I was 3 years old, all of the babies were light skinned, or extremely dark with kinky hair. Even then the dolls did not match me.. I never thought anything about it because a toy was a toy and I liked playing by myself anyway.
But as TV became more popular the images on the television surely did not look like me nor did they represent me. I have stayed true to who I am for a long time, and the word perfection never really applied to me. A short, dark, thick, smarty pants named Dina. Even my name was different.
Growing up in the south it did become apparent that to be the norm in world you had to be thin, blonde, light eyed, and wealthy. I had the thin thing for a while but none of the others came to me or would except wealth, but that is a topic for another blog.
I chose to be smart over being beautiful or thin or accessible. I admit that I was pretty closed off to some people and only half there for others. Awkward teenagers do that on a regular basis, I was no different. The one thing I did have all through my growing years was that internally I knew something with me was emerging.
Emerging is a strong word when in a world where everyone is judged by their skin, hair, weight, intelligence and wealth. Where was self-worth in all of this? Not in perfection, I will tell you that. There is only one who was perfect and he was born that way…..Jesus…
So now at age 45 how do I view perfection? I know you want to know so here it is….
Perfection is what I see in the mirror each morning, the living, breathing, thinking, decision making, life altering life that God has given me to live. Now understand that I did not say that I was perfect, I am NOT by any means perfect. However what I will say is that my life can only be perfection because it is the life that God is allowing me to live. BOOM mind blown…
Just like the world we live in the past is the framework for how we choose to live now. I choose to live in victory, determination, self-acceptance, self-love and understanding. I did say me….ME! I can not love you, if I can not live my life for me. I repeat, I can not love you the way you deserve if I do not love myself. Take a minute and think about that. I can wait……
When you look in the mirror each day, who do you see? Someone looking for acceptance from the world? Another person? Or yourself?
I look in the mirror and see someone blessed with another day to do things right, to grasp their place in the world and to be the best person I can be..it is that simple.
I see the same face looking back at me, and the knowledge in her eyes that she lived through another day. That I lived to have another chance to get my act together, and that I leaned on God to help me make it through.
I know that I am not a supermodel with a perfect body and stop traffic when I cross the street. I do think to myself each day that I am pretty great and my biggest fan is me..
Dina