Do You Eat It?

Let’s talk about fruit—nature’s perfect snack. It’s colorful, sweet, juicy, and full of vitamins. People love to say things like, “I’m just going to have some berries instead of cake.” Excuse me? I didn’t know we were allowed to lie in public.

Here’s the thing about fruit: it’s sneaky.

1. Bananas: The Passive-Aggressive Diva

Bananas are the only fruit that come with a timer. One minute they’re green and unripe, then blink and they’re yellow and perfect, and suddenly—bam!—they’ve turned brown, become mushy, and smell like regret. But you keep eating because you’re awkward and it’s already in your lunchbox.

2. Pineapple: Delicious, But At What Cost?

Pineapple is like that friend who’s hilarious at parties but slightly dangerous. You love it—but it bites back. Literally. Your tongue is numb, your lips tingle, and you’re pretty sure you just lost a layer of taste buds. This is a toxic relationship and I don’t know how to quit.

3. Grapes: The Snack That’s a Gamble

Grapes are flavor bombs—or duds. You’re grabbing one from the fridge thinking it’s a sweet bite of joy, but surprise! It’s sour, squishy, and you’ve dropped one on the floor. It now doubles as a booby trap. I almost sued myself last Tuesday.

4. Mango: Sticky and Mysterious

Mango is the fruit version of a soap opera. It looks innocent, but once you try to cut it, you realize you’ve been duped. There’s a pit? Where? Your hands are sticky, your kitchen looks like a tropical crime scene, and somehow the dog is covered in pulp.

So yes, I’ll keep eating fruit because it’s “good for me,” but let the record show—I’m doing it under protest. Stay juicy, my friends.

🍓 Written with love and stickiness by a fruit skeptic.